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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
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First Call |
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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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THIRD PRINCIPLE TOTAL LIFE EXPERIENCE Much of the pleasure in the life of a parent is lost due to our cultural conditioning -- being on automatic pilot without full awareness. We also have not been taught to experience life in a multi-sensory manner. Most of the time we simply think (cognitive perspective) about a problem and simply accept the automatic negative emotions that come with it. To enhance positive experiences in parenting, parents need to practice the skill of remembering by using as many of our senses as possible. Practice using your positive memory to recall pleasurable experiences with your child. Such full experience memory should improve affectionate bonding between you and your child. When negative events occur, experience them but do not dwell on them long. Think about them a short time! When positive experiences occur, do more than think; in these experiences use as many of your senses as possible -- see, hear, touch, smell and taste. You may also wish to use more intuition. Consciously expand positive experiences; reduce negative ones.
HELPFUL HINTS IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF MULTI-SENSORY PARENTING 1. When you experience a positive event with one of your children, STOP to experience it by thinking, feeling and being. 2. When you recall a positive event from your past, work at remembering it by way of various senses -- see it, hear it, touch it (or be touched by it ). Take your time and enjoy it! 3. When talking with your child about an expected positive event, help the child learn this skill by describing the expected event in visual, auditory and physical (sensational) characteristics. 4. Get into the habit of planning pleasurable events with your child. When you do, make these experiences multi-sensory. 5. When negative events occur, note that they are there. Also remind yourself that they are impermanent -- things will change. Nothing always stays the same! When negative things happen, work at experiencing them in thought but not through your other senses. 6. Take time with your child to look over family photographs of positive events and memories. You and your child may wish to make a "memorable events" album. In describing these experiences, use all of your senses. Help your child learn to use all of his/her senses in describing positive life experiences.
RECOMMENDED READINGS Rossi, E. (1993). The Psychobiology of Mind-Body Healing. New York: W. W. Norton. Also refer to Everyday Blessings on page 1. |
