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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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THE FIRST PRINCIPLE SELF-ACCEPTANCE A parent needs to accept their own self, where one came from and who one is. An accepted self includes both personal strengths that support effective parenting, as well as areas for improvement that promote better parenting. With self-acceptance comes the foundation for self-compassion. Over time, and with practice telling yourself your good points, self-compassion may develop into self-love. True self-love, however, may be an idealistic goal. In order to fully support your child's successful development in both mind and spirit, a great deal of loving affection and personal kindness will be required. For a parent to give a child love and affection there must be ample quantity of these qualities inside the parent. If the well of the parent's self is empty, the child may starve emotionally. Self-acceptance is a critical characteristic of effective parenting.
HELPFUL PRACTICE HINTS IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE 1. Each morning when you awaken, mindfully think about one positive thing you can expect for yourself that day. Do the same thing with your child. 2. Each night before you go to sleep, recall one positive thing from your day. Do the same thing with your child. 3. Discuss positive experiences with your child -- discuss any positive experience your child had that day. 4. Once a week list three good qualities that you have. Do the same thing with your child. 5. Practice becoming mindfully aware of the simple pleasures you experience with your child every day. 6. Practice random acts of kindness for yourself at least once a week. Do the same thing for your child. 7. When you feel upset, get into the habit of writing down some of the negative thoughts you have. Also record some of your thoughts when you feel happy. Since one form of thinking increases depression and the other form augments pleasure, which type of thinking do you want to spend more time with? Do your best to be positive, and spend more time thinking about good experiences. 8. Have the courage to accept yourself. Model it to your child. RECOMMENDED READINGS Chopra, D. (1997). The Path to Love. |
