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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
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First Call |
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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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THE THIRTEENTH PRINCIPLE PARENT SELF-MONITORING Parental modeling and normative behaviors are potent influences on child development. Most children develop norms based on their family of origin environment; as they grow older, peer group involvement replaces the family in this area. It has been estimated that up to 50% of the adolescents in substance abuse treatment have a parent with a serious substance abuse problem. If the parent is in recovery -- all is well. However, if there is a substance abuse problem and if the parent hopes to positively influence his/her child's development, self-monitoring is a must. Self-monitoring is also important because most people with substance abuse problems rationalize and normalize them out of conscious awareness. Your children, however, will notice and remember your behaviors as norms of the family. If you hope to prevent substance abuse or reduce risk of negative consequences from use, you must be a healthy role model to your child's ever-watching eyes. Self-monitoring may also be important because it may allow an opportunity for empathy. If you do have a substance abuse problem, and if you do find it difficult to reduce or stop your use, you are in a better position to understand your child's difficulties in doing the same. You may also need some professional help.
HELPFUL HINTS IN PARENTAL SELF-MONITORING 1. Become more aware of your own norms in the area of substance use. If you abuse substances you are directly modeling this behavior to your son or daughter. 2. Count your drinks and the number of times you drink per week. Daily use and frequent intoxication are often negative indicators. Work out a plan to reduce your use: amounts, frequencies and intoxications (if applicable). 3. Do you self-medicate? People sometimes self-medicate with psychoactive substances or food when things do not go well. Self-medication is caused by the desire to escape negative mood states when one is depressed, anxious, angry, lonely, etc. If you do self-medicate, plan some alternatives to using substances -- talk to a friend, do an alternative pleasurable activity, seek help. 4. Do you use non-prescribed drugs, like marijuana? Do you abuse prescribed medications? If so in either case, please seek help. 5. If you have carried out these suggestions and think you may have a problem, seek confidential help from a substance abuse treatment professional or go to self-help meetings. 6. Be aware of what you have learned about yourself. Use this important information to help your child develop a substance-free lifestyle. |
