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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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THE SIXTH PRINCIPLE DIRECT VALIDATION OF YOUR CHILD To foster positive relations with your child, practice making validation statements; a validation is a positive acknowledgement of your child's behavior and presence. Get into the practice of noting her/his positive qualities and behaviors out loud. Do take the time to provide direct validation when your child does anything that is positive or cooperative. When validating a specific behavior or personality characteristic be aware of balance -- do not under or over state the validation. An honest but minor validation statement carries more power regarding your child's self-esteem than an over-emphasized one. Remember, as a parent you are in an ideal position to use validation as a means to provide strong verbal reinforcement (encouragement) for your child to continue positive behaviors.
HELPFUL HINTS IN PROVIDING VALIDATING STATEMENTS TO YOUR CHILD 1. Begin to validate early in your child's life. To validate effectively you must become more aware (mindful) of your child's positive behaviors. 2. Get into the habit of catching your child being good, and noting it verbally. 3. It would be helpful to match your child's preference for validation. When you make a validating statement to your child, observe his/her facial expressions. If it appears that the form of validation is helpful, continue to use it. 4. To see if your validations are working, observe whether or not the behaviors that are validated appear more frequently later. 5. Validate what your child already does well. It is important to notice and appreciate already existing strengths. When it comes to positive attitudes and behaviors, do not take them for granted. 6. Become mindful of making validating statements at least once each day. This will reinforce desired, positive behaviors. 7. Because validating behaviors often reinforce others to act accordingly, it is a good idea for your child to practice validation also. Teach your child how to validate others. 8. Use validation as a way to encourage your child as he/she is learning new or difficult skills. Function as an encouraging coach. 9. Help your child see relationships between your verbal praise and his/her behaviors. For example, validate your child's behavior (or thinking) in association with cooperative behavior. This will reward a specific behavior as well as a cooperative attitude. |
