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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
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First Call |
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The Howard Center for Human Services First Call for Children and Families |
To contact
First Call |
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THE SEVENTEENTH PRINCIPLE KNOWING WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS UP AGAINST Many parents treat their children with full equality. It is a good idea to be fair and even-handed in raising children. However, gender differences are quite real. It is not productive to ignore gender differences. If your child is female she is faced with very specific challenges with which most males are not faced. For example in certain situations girls face greater risks in problematic substance abuse, early pregnancy, school drop-out status, emotional defiance and eating disorders. There are many barriers in the way of healthy female development. Negative media stereotyping and intense challenges to self-esteem make difficult situations worse for young women. American norms may also place roadblocks in the way of female success. Social forces place young women at greater risk for family breakdown and violent victimization. Young women are also very much at risk for physical and sexual abuse -- both inside and outside their immediate social circles. The loss of community in America impacts young women in negative ways. Some think the only way to save young women in American society is to dramatically shift the direction of the media. We need to value family and self against the ever growing pressures to consume goods, abuse substances and use physical force to control others. It is also a good idea to encourage your daughter to participate in more physical activities; these experiences may improve self-esteem and serve as viable energy outlets. Be certain to support her strengths, abilities and capacities. Knowing that a parent recognizes and values these characteristics can become emotionally grounding for a young women. Whenever possible be sensitive to your daughter's body awareness and concerns; do whatever you can to enhance body appreciation as early as possible. When supporting your daughter's appreciation of herself, establish an expectation that the appreciation is of the self not of perfection in the self. Support the development of personal care rituals; such rituals may be helpful in both emotional and physical areas. Encourage self-empowerment and self-nurturance every time you have the opportunity. Often mother-daughter relationships may become very significant and long lasting. If there appears to be a naturally collaborative relationship, enhance it. Such relationships can produce lasting positive effects for both the child and the parent.
HELPFUL HINTS FOR WORKING WITH DAUGHTERS 1. Intervene early and directly if your daughter is experiencing one of the high risk situations noted above. 2. Present balanced values and modeling regarding food and consumption in general. Model moderate behavior -- less emphasis on being thin and more emphasis on not self-medicating with food. 3. Work hard to counter negative social and media influences in your family. 4. Utilize known competencies in young women -- like emotional endurance and relationship skills-- in supporting your child's development. 5. Directly reinforce open communication with your daughter. 6. Do whatever you can to help your daughter be an important part of the family without exploiting her availability. 7. Directly encourage your daughter's involvement in team sports, and reinforce her participation rather than simply her skills. 8. Discover and encourage the development of personal talents in your daughter.
HELPFUL SOURCES OF INFORMATION Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia. Pipher, M. (1996). In the Shelter of Each Other. |
